[holding my answered prayer]

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Beckham Klein Milstead came into this world at 40+4 via induction weighing 8 lbs 15 oz, 20 1/2″ long, and with a head full of awesome looking hair!! I could not love him more. My heart just overflows with love and gratitude. At long last, my  God has delivered my answered prayers into my arms.

I will follow with our birth story soon. I’m so overcome with emotion I can’t do much other than gush over my son. Praise be to God!! 💙

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[37w5d]

Yay! Getting close!!

I thought I posted an update last week (which I just found in my drafts), so – there’s that.

At my 36 week appt, I was dilated 0.5 and 0% effaced and the baby was at -3 station (still pretty high).

Yesterday, at my 37 week appt, I am now dilated 1.5 and 50% effaced! Woot woot PROGRESS! It’s really exciting to know that early labor has started. Yesterday when I got up out of bed, upon standing I knew the baby had dropped much lower (it was uncomfortable to stand and hurts to walk). The doctor said the head is “way down there” now, no wonder it hurts to walk and that it could happen at any time.Yes, I know it can stick here for weeks and it doesn’t mean anything about the timing of the baby. BUT, I am encouraged that things had started at week 36 and progressed in just one week. Due in 16 days (or 2 weeks from this Saturday) and REALLY hoping to go some time within the next week. Soooo exciting!!!

How far along? 37w5d

Total weight gain? 25 lbs. Perfectly happy with that. (Sadly I know a lot of my muscle has been lost and replaced with fat, but I am very motivated to pick my workouts back up to a ‘regular’ intensity, SERIOUSLY clean up my diet and get that fixed!)

Gender? Still don’t know. Heartbeat has been around and over 150 the entire time, but yesterday was at 140, which greatly excited my hubby. Everyone hears how high the heartbeat has been and tells him girl – and even though 140 isn’t “low”, it’s lower than it’s ever been. He had a glimmer of hope that there’s a baby boy in there. 🙂

Maternity clothes? Daily. Some of my medium shirts are too short in front now, but ever since the baby dropped everything fits differently now anyway. We’re close to the finish line, I’m not too worried.

Stretch marks? No

Sleep? I’m always tired (still). That seems to be the one thing that never went away. I get up twice every night to pee and sometimes it takes more than an hour (and a bowl of cereal) to get back to sleep. Still getting up at 4:30 AM on the weekdays to hit the gym, so there are some days when I really really really dread my alarm clock. Of course on weekends I don’t have to get up for the gym and I can rarely sleep in as late as I would like. That’s how it goes.

Best moment this week? Yesterday, when the doctor told me about my progress (dilation/effacement) and the baby being really low now! Every little sign that the baby’s birthday is getting closer is greatly encouraging to me!! 🙂

Miss anything? No!

Movement? Yes, although I can tell it’s getting crunchy in there because it’s a lot of swinging our butt from side to side and poky knees and elbows.

Food cravings? Still eating one HoneyCrisp per day. Nothing else.

Anything making you queasy or sick? No.

Symptoms? Same old. . .

Labor Signs? Yes! 🙂 Contractions, beginning stages of dilation and 50% effaced!

Belly Button in or out? In – getting pretty flat though.

Wedding rings on or off? On!

Happy or Moody most of the time? Happy! Excited! Anxious! Ready!

Looking forward to? My custom curtains will be done Monday and they are the final touch to the nursery. My sister’s family comes Monday from MO and will be staying at my house until Christmas Eve. My mom is also coming Monday. I only have a two day work week next week (my family celebrates our Christmas together on Christmas Eve and they are ALL coming to our house for that this year since I can’t travel)! Thursday will be Christmas and the BABY IS DUE SOON!!!!!

[32w4d]

How far along? 32w4d

Total weight gain? 24 lbs. I mysteriously gained 2.5 lbs in the past week after not having changed eating or exercise habits. YIKES. I am going to call this a fluke and hope it never happens again.

Gender? Mystery.

Maternity clothes? From maternity clothes right into sweats/yoga pants the minute I walk in to the house. Not all that different than pre-pregnancy in that regard, although back then my work clothes did not involve elastic waist bands. 🙂

Stretch marks? No

Sleep? Sometimes. I will have nights where I fall asleep at 8 PM and only wake up once to pee (or not at all!) until my alarm goes off at 4:30 AM. Other nights I toss and turn and can’t fall asleep until 11 or wake to pee at 2 AM and I lie there for 2 hours watching my sleep time tick away.

Best moment this week? This morning, around 3 AM, the dog had woken both my husband and I up with her incessant licking. I moved her to another room. As we were lying there trying to fall back asleep, my husband put his hand on my belly. The baby was really active, moving and kicking and then with hiccups. It lasted maybe 30 minutes and every time there was a big move, my husband would make a noise or say something. . . both of us still trying to fall asleep. It was the sweetest moment in time – just lying there in the dark with no distractions, feeling the baby move together. Just melted my heart.

Another great moment was yesterday at our final ultrasound with MFM, learning that the baby looks/measures perfectly healthy, is at the 46th percentile for weight (4 lbs 5 oz), and has HAIR!!! Yaaaaaaay – the heartburn pays off!!! The only disappointment we had (which is really quite trivial) is that the baby was not only head down, but FACE down as well – and we could not get even ONE face shot. 😦 We have been waiting for the past 6 weeks for this appointment since the last ultrasound tech told us at this appointment the baby would look very much the same as it will at birth. So…the suspense continues. 52 days and counting!

Miss anything? Having a winter coat that zips closed and scalding hot bathwater. 🙂

Movement? Every day! Love it.

Food cravings? Still eating one HoneyCrisp per day. Nothing else.

Anything making you queasy or sick? HeartBURN.

Symptoms? Nothing exciting.

Labor Signs? Too early!

Belly Button in or out? In.

Wedding rings on or off? On!

Happy or Moody most of the time? Happy!

Looking forward to? My reupholstered glider chair (for the nursery) is supposed to be finished this Saturday, my custom crib skirt and curtains should be finished soon, our third/final baby shower is today so I can make all the final purchases for baby soon!

[31w2d]

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So I debated for weeks (months?) on whether or not I wanted maternity pictures taken. I did not have any done with my daughter (born 2001), but I wasn’t in the position to then, either. I could not have afforded it and it was not a happy time. My only happiness those days were chicken McNuggets (sick, I know) and naps – both of which were plentiful in my life (and no doubt contributed to my 40 lb weight gain).

This time the pregnancy is such an answered prayer. My husband and I could not have wanted it more – and that has made it so much of a celebration. (Incidentally, the other one was an answered prayer too, as it saved me and completely changed the direction of my life. I just didn’t realize it at the time.)

I have been feeling good this entire pregnancy. I have all the “regular” complaints, but nothing that I dwell on or that makes life unbearable. The little kicks and punches make it all worthwhile! Still, while I have days that I feel like I look nice, there are other days where I feel not-so-cute and I wasn’t sure I wanted to commemorate that look into pictures that would last forever. Vain? Of course it is. But hopefully my honestly helps balance that out. I truly believe pregnancy is such a beautiful thing and whenever I see other women’s maternity pictures (or see them in person) I am just in awe at how lovely they look. It just doesn’t always translate when I see myself. Bad, but honest.

So, about 3 weeks ago I pulled the trigger and scheduled the photos which we had taken 2 days ago (Saturday) at exactly 31 weeks. It was 10 AM and we live in Michigan, so the temperature was 29 degrees out. It was FREEZING. Hard to create a genuine smile (teeth would not stop chattering and eyes would not stop watering). I was worried we would not get any good pictures because of how miserable we all were. At one point the photographer said, “Ok, you all just look REALLY cold. Try to smile and forget about the weather.” She is a friend and I appreciated that she told us, but it just caused me to worry that the only thing that would translate through the pictures was COLD. She posted the “sneak peak” photos above on Saturday night and Sunday and so far I love them! I am SO GLAD that we had them done. If anyone is debating on having some done, I would seriously recommend it. That said, as much as I love the look of the outdoor ones – if you are in a climate that has chilled out as much as ours has, I would recommend doing them indoors. I would not take outdoor pictures in that weather again – my husband was in a lot less of the pictures than I anticipated just because he was so miserable that he waited in the van.

How far along? 31w2d

Total weight gain? 21 lbs. I had my regular OB appt last week and I had actually lost a pound between (2 week) visits. My doctor actually asked me if I had been eating. HA! I assured him, I am not a girl that needs to be reminded to eat! He also got out his measuring tape to check fundal height and joked with me that at least we didn’t have to measure me ‘around’ the waist. I laughed and he said since I am one of his thinnest patients he feels like he can joke with me about it. (Naturally, that made my day.) Bless your heart, mr. doctor. 🙂

Gender? We will have our answer in 61 days!!

Maternity clothes? Yes! Strangely I can still wear my size medium (non-maternity) leggings from Express, but I have no doubt they are going to be stretched out and ruined post-pregnancy. These hips don’t lie.

Stretch marks? No

Sleep? Fleeting. I wake for at least 2 hours in the middle of the night, every night, for no apparent reason. Eating/reading/watching YouTube doesn’t make me sleepy. My legs get restless. There are not enough pillows in the world to keep me comfortable. Worth it, but not fun. I remember getting this way toward the end with my daughter. I know it’s only going to get worse the closer we get to the big day.

Best moment this week? Probably getting good news on Friday at my dr appointment! (Measuring right on schedule, weight on track, strong and healthy heartbeat!)

Miss anything? Sleep.

Movement? Lots of it, often. Sadly it seems my little birdie is a party animal as soon as my head hits the pillow at night – which probably means our days and nights will be flipped for a while once we meet face-to-face. The exciting part is – we will have our special alone time in the night where I can just stare into that little face for hours! I am really looking forward to nursing and the bond that develops through that, too! I nursed my daughter for a year and was sad when she decided it was time to quit (which she communicated through chomping me with her sharp little teeth. The first day I thought it was a fluke. After the second day, I knew we were done.)

Food cravings? I’ve had to slow it down on the HoneyCrisp apples. My two-a-day habit caused an inflamed tastebud (OUCH!) Proof once again that there really can be too much of a good thing. Last night, I was craving Honey Chipotle Chicken Crispers from Applebees which my sweet husband was happy to get me. I could only eat maybe 2 of them (my appetite ranges from ravaging to stuffed within about 10 minutes of eating), but they were delicious.

Anything making you queasy or sick? Not so much. Heartburn is a regular foe.

Symptoms? The usual. Nothing noteworthy.

Labor Signs? No.

Belly Button in or out? In.

Wedding rings on or off? On!

Happy or Moody most of the time? Happy!

Looking forward to? Two baby showers at my work and my husband’s work (this week and next), my last ultrasound appt a week from tomorrow (at 32w3d), and the family birthplace tour in two weeks!

[30w2d]

29w

How far along? 30w2d (68 days to go!!!)

Total weight gain? 20 lbs and happy about it! It’s been the moderate gain that I was really hoping for (as opposed to my daughter 10 years ago where I ended up gaining 40+ over the pregnancy).

Gender? It’s a secret surprise. Not even I know. 😉

Maternity clothes? Oh hallelujah! I do have maybe 2 pairs of great ‘regular’ jeans that were handed down to me from a family member after she lost some weight – hoping they would work for maternity – and with the belly band I have been able to wear both of those. They are way cuter than the maternity jeans that I can find (at least in the price range I am willing to spend).

Stretch marks? No new ones. I have some small ones from my daughter 10 years ago that had faded but I’m sure all this new stretching is going to waken those right up. I’m not too worried – after my daughter was born I got down to my healthy weight and was able to wear a bikini ever since and the stretch marks were not visible anymore. I’m hopeful it will be that way again.

Sleep? I like it. A lot. I need more of it. I am waking less now than previously (it’s gone from 2-3 pee breaks a night to 0-1 now) and THAT is lovely. I do suspect it’s going to pick back up here at the end.

Best moment this week? Any time the baby moves!! and this past weekend when I got to spend the entire weekend with my sisters and mom. They threw my baby shower and helped decorate the nursery.

Miss anything? My abs, but I only said “see you later” and not “goodbye” to them. 😉

Movement? LOTS of movement. I love it. Big kicks/punches, hiccups, wiggles. Seriously the best thing ever. I will miss feeling those once the baby is born.

Food cravings? Not a true make-my-husband-drive-at-3-AM-on-a-Tuesday craving, but I have developed a thing for HoneyCrisp apples. This is the first year I have ever tried them and I have a two-a-day habit. One around 9:30 AM with two Sargento cheddar cheese sticks for my morning snack and the second around 3/3:30 PM before I leave home from work to hold me over until dinner. OH THEY ARE GOOD.

Anything making you queasy or sick? Not so much any more – but the thought of plain chicken breast can make me gaggy if I focus on it long enough.

Symptoms? I’ve had most, if not all, of them. At this point my biggest complaint would be the heartburn. I am telling you what, this baby BETTER have a rockstar coiffure when it comes out because I don’t know what else would make this torture worth it.

Labor Signs? No, thankfully!

Belly Button in or out? In and getting more shallow by the day. 🙂

Wedding rings on or off? On

Happy or Moody most of the time? Happy!! Excited!! So grateful!!

Looking forward to? Tonight (I get my new iPhone 6 plus!!), Friday (my first bi-weekly dr appt and taking my daughter trick-or-treating), Saturday (maternity pictures), Nov 11 our last ultrasound (at 32 weeks!!)

[27w3d]

25w6d

How far along: 27w3d

Total weight gain: 15 lbs. (12 weeks, 4 days left – I feel good about the gain at this point!)

Maternity clothes: Absolutely. I have a few ‘regular’ sweats and yoga pants for the house but everything else is maternity.

Sleep: Not so much. Really hard to get comfortable, even amidst my pillow fort. This does not bode well as it will only get worse. I sleep 6 hours on a good night (1 or less potty breaks) and more like 5 on a regular night (2-3 potty breaks).

Best moment of this week: Making it to the third trimester this Saturday! Also, passed my GD/glucose tolerance test!

Miss anything: Most of it’s a mind game – but I do miss lunch meat. If I could eat an Italian sub from Firehouse every day of the week, I would.

Size of baby: Cauliflower.

Food cravings/aversions: Any healthy form of chicken makes me gaggy, although I can handle the breaded/fried/horrible-for-you varieties.

Anything making you queasy or sick: No.

Have you started to show yet: Yes. It’s a relief not to ‘hope’ people can tell I’m pregnant any more.

Gender: Noooooobody knows. 😉 We’ll know in 88 days!

Labor signs: No, thank you God! I’ve heard too many stories of pre-term labor, stillbirth and miscarriage of ladies just as far along as me in their pregnancies. My heart breaks for those dealing with those things and it makes me so thankful this has been an ‘easy’ pregnancy so far.

Belly button in or out: In and getting flatter. I don’t think it ever popped out with my firstborn (now 10 years old).

Wedding rings on or off: On and happy about it!

Happy or moody most of the time: Happy more than moody, but every now and again the ‘hangriness’ sets in. My husband knows what to watch for. lol

Looking forward to: So much! My next OB appt on 10/16, my (family) baby shower on 10/25, my (work) baby shower on 11/05, our last 3D ultrasound at 32 weeks (11/11)!! Hoping to get some really great pictures this time!

[22w4d of happy]

I haven’t posted in so long because there hasn’t been much to report. I know all too well the pain of not being able to conceive, or to have conceived and lost. . . so posting just to talk about how happy I am right now feels too much like gloating to those who are still waiting for their miracle.

The first few weeks after learning we were pregnant were very happy but cautious – once we made it to the second trimester time has just flown by. I can’t believe we are more than halfway done “all of a sudden.”

We had our NT scan results back in the first trimester (which I may have posted about already) and then we got the blood work done during the second trimester which gives the “final” result. After our first trimester screening, results came back normal (less than 1% odds). Down Syndrome 1:140 chance, Trisomy 18 1:7,500 chance. The “final” results look even better. 🙂 Down Syndrome 1:10,000 chance, Trisomy 18 1:10,000 chance and spina bifida 1:1,500 chance. God’s protection is surely on this baby!!

So far I have gained 10 pounds, which I am very proud of. I haven’t been making perfect food choices, but I have been making an effort and I am still weight lifting and walking at least 5x week. Some times I will walk again in the evening if I have the energy. My first pregnancy (11 years ago) I gained too much weight (50 pounds maybe?) and my OB used to give me lectures on my weight gain at my bi-weekly appointments. She started in on me at about 30 weeks, which at that point, lady – I think we see how this is going to go. Combine that with the fact that I was 23, had broken up with my (then) boyfriend about 4 months into the pregnancy and basically ate/slept my way through the next 5 months seriously depressed and you can imagine how effective her weight gain lectures were on me. She made sure to inquire (rather unkindly) about the baby’s father with personal questions about our relationship and his involvement with the baby at that time as well, which explains why I will never see her again. 🙂 Compare that to my current OB, whom, after learning I had gained 4 lbs at the end of the first trimester was thrilled and said, “Oh, I’m so glad! I was worried you wouldn’t want to gain any weight because you’re so thin to begin with.” Oh, dear doctor, you are mine to keep.

We had our anatomy scan (big ultrasound) at 20 weeks, but since we are choosing to be surprised on the “big day”, we don’t know the gender. Happily all the baby’s measurements were right on track. The only really memorable moment happened when the tech was getting ready to check out baby’s lower half and we were watching the screen. She said, “You may want to look away while I go down to measure the legs and look at the lower half.” We both looked away and actually closed our eyes too (which may have been overkill but I did instruct my husband that if he peeked, I would ‘kill him’, so maybe it was warranted). After about 20 seconds of looking she said, “Oh, DEFINITELY don’t look now.” My immediate thought was, ok lady, you obviously saw his junk and we are having a boy.

After the appt, my husband and I were talking and he hadn’t even heard her make that comment. I told him that my immediate assumption was “boy” because something obviously showed up on screen to make her say that. He was thrilled with that assessment, so as you can imagine, he’s been repeating the story to EVERYONE – so excited at the possibility of having a boy. (We don’t put much stock in old wives’ tales, but the heartbeat has been high every time, which points to girl – and I think he had convinced himself that it must be a girl prior to this.)

After that I tried to convince myself that just maybe it could possibly have been that the baby had its legs spread open and there was NOTHING there to see and so the tech knew we would see the absence of “boy bits” and know it was a girl. That is my silver lining talking because I’m pretty sure that’s not what happened. 😉

I really want a healthy baby and the gender is so much less important. If I had a choice, I have really had my heart set on a girl, but my husband’s desire for a boy is so deep that it feels selfish to wish against him. It would make his heart so happy to have a healthy baby and for it to be a boy. He is the only man in his family to have a child, so his family name dies if we have a girl and for him that would be a big disappointment. My husband is such a good man (and those are hard to find, just like good women) and he is just gorgeous, so I can only imagine how adorable a tiny him would be. My SIL told me when my husband was born they saw him and said he must be a girl because he was just too pretty. 🙂 I love this baby no matter what, and I am so thankful that God has decided what our family needs and that I don’t have to! 🙂 God is good!

I am due in 4 months (Jan 3) or 17w2d!!! I cannot believe I get to have a baby! It all just feels so surreal!!

[Facebook Official: It must be true]

preg annoucement

So we finally were comfortable sharing the big news and it is such a relief just to not have it be a secret anymore!  We are 12w4d today.  It feels really good to be at this point.  I feel like I can exhale.

We had our appointment with MFM (maternal fetal medicine) and the genetic counselor yesterday – it was a 2 hour appointment!  The first part with the counselor was reviewing our family health history and she drew a family tree as I was talking to chart the medical concerns on each side.  There was really only one thing for her to write and she was not concerned that would be an issue with the baby, so were able to move on.  Next, she had charts that demonstrated the chromosomes and how they double, how they are expected to show up and the three most common trisomies (Down Syndrome/Trisomy 21, Trisomy 18 & Trisomy 13).  She explained the complications/health challenges with each – which was very helpful.  She then showed me a chart that demonstrated my “risk” of having a baby with these based on my age alone (and no personal factors).  Based on age 35 (at delivery), I have a .4% (less than 1%) of having a baby with Down Syndrome and a .8% (still less than 1%) chance of having a baby with any of the three trisomies.  Relatively, I have over a 99% chance of having a baby without any of these.  That really helped put it in perspective for me.  When I saw the numbers in the WTE book, it showed for a woman at age 35, 1 out of every 236 (don’t quote me, this is from memory and memory is shot lately, but I think it’s close to this) would have a baby with Down Syndrome.  When you put it into a percentage (.4%) it sounds much better.  Don’t get me wrong, Down Syndrome is not the end of the world and I will love my baby regardless of its health.  Obviously though, ‘perfect’ health would be ideal.

Aaaaanyway, long story short long, after all that explaining she also asked how long I had been taking my prenatal vitamin. I told her for more than a year (probably 18 months actually) prior.  She said that was SO GOOD because the folic acid in prenatals helps stop neural tube defects, and they know that the spinal cord closes by 4 weeks of pregnancy (4 weeks!) and that is before most women even know they are pregnant.  So, it’s great that I was on them the whole time.  Finally, I told her, some good news from all that time it took to get pregnant! 🙂

She then explained the three types of screening tests we could opt for: the NT scan combined with bloodwork, MaterniT21 and amniocentesis.  We opted to begin with the NT scan and bloodwork option and go from there.  In order for the NT measurement results to be combined with the bloodwork results there is a 7-10 day wait.

We went to see the sonographer next. We got to see the baby for a long time (maybe 15 minutes?) on the ultrasound and she even flipped it over to 4D toward the end.  We got a disc to take home with 11 images on it, too!  This was by far my favorite, after the baby “woke up” and started wiggling around and put both arms above its head.  My heart just melts.

hands in the ayer, ayer. . .

hands in the ayer, ayer. . .

 

The back of neck measurement was within normal range (praise God!) so now we wait on the bloodwork.  I don’t take health for granted by any means, but I really am not worried.  I am trusting God with this baby of his that he’s giving to me to love. Of course I pray for continued health, growth, strength for the baby – but God loves the baby even more than I ever could, so thankfully his hand is already on this child!

I am still down 1.5 lb from my pre-pregnancy weight (I have not thrown up at all and have been eating whatever sounds good – which is much less healthy than I typically eat – so this is some kind of amazing miracle.  I am *hopeful* that once we get a few weeks into the second trimester I will have more energy (which will help me get back into meal planning/shopping/preparing) and less nausea.  My poor husband has been so sweet – it’s been pretty “fend for yourself” these past 6 weeks – and he’s been more than accommodating and helpful. I know it can’t be easy since before pregnancy I was cooking 4 or 5 days a week and he had gotten used to that.  He’s so good to me.

He tells me he’s so proud of me and he can’t wait to meet our baby – and he spoils me with little treats and dinner out more often than he should.  Just love that man.  Just love him.

[10w6d update]

My little olive turns 11 weeks old tomorrow. 🙂

We had our first OB appt yesterday and it was SOMETHING.

I was very nervous/anxious about going and I don’t really know why.  I wasn’t worried about the baby – I was actually excited about the ultrasound. . . I think it was just meeting this new doctor for the first time and having just left my RE (who I just really clicked with).  I knew, deep down, that I wasn’t going to click with this doc the way I had my last one.  Maybe I was setting myself up, but my RE was like the most fun doctor I’ve ever had so I just kind of knew that wasn’t typical.  My husband and I actually used to look forward to appointments with my RE because of who he was and how he was with us. Anyway, wah, I’ll get over it.  

Sooooo, the new doctor is nice.  He has been a doctor for 39 years so I’m quite confident he knows his stuff.  He just . . .hmmmm.  He’s personable enough – friendly, but formal – idk.  He’s very factual and straightforward where my RE had a lot of personality.  He joked a lot.  He got my sense of humor.  Idk. Anyway, all of this is not the point.  Nice enough guy, I just didn’t feel any type of connection like I wanted to.  For instance, as he was listening to me breathe (through my back) with the stethoscope, he said, “Hmmm, ok, so I see you have quit smoking . . .” and I replied, “Oh, yes,” nervous laugh, “…Years ago.  Should have never started . . .”  To which he replied, “Oh! You really were a smoker?  I was just trying to be light hearted.”  But it came out all wrong, it was like trying to joke with a computer – the vocal inflection, everything was just off and a little awkward.  Poor guy.  And then I felt like an idiot for giving my confession when he was being funny as he was listening to my breathing.

You see, there was about a two year time frame (2007-2009) when I smoked.  I hate typing that, I hate that it happened.  Oh well, it’s the truth so there it is.  And the funny thing is, when I was completing the paperwork from the OB prior to my appt – there was the question on if you had ever smoked on the application and I wrote the truth and my husband debated that.  He is one who thinks it just causes more questions and creates unnecessary problems to tell them about health things in the past that don’t affect you or aren’t true now.  I am more of a tell the truth about everything kind of girl.  I have no problem admitting to my doctor something I did in the past, like smoking (ok, I am ashamed of it, but I can do it because it’s no longer who I am).  So, I did write that I smoked years ago and have quit (4-5 years now) and I immediately perked up when he joked about it because I assumed he had read my chart and was making that comment as he was listening to my lungs because it reminded him.  But, alas.  It was just him trying to be funny.  

Ok, now that we are past that, let’s back up to the beginning of my appointment when the PA takes us into the room.  As I sit down, she smiles big and asks hopefully, “So is this your first baby?”  To which I respond, “No. . . Well, it’s our first but my second.”  Smile disappears.  Awkward silence.  Somehow she made me feel like it wasn’t as exciting now since I’ve already done this before.  And somehow I’ve just confessed to the nurse that I have a had another child without someone who is not my husband (far prior to knowing him, of course).  I don’t have time and she isn’t interested in me explaining that away.  This day was just not for me.

Next, doctor comes in and introduces himself before I get into the gown so we can meet in clothes.  I appreciate that.  We had some questions about all the different screening tests they do now. I ask his opinion on them.  He explains each one in great detail but offers no opinion.  Just keeps repeating we are not obligated to have any of them done, but he IS obligated to make us aware and offer them.  Ok, fine.  We’ll decide.

When he leaves he points to the gown and sheet that I am supposed to wear – gown open to the front like a blouse, sheet over my legs, open in the back.  Take everything off underneath.  Fine.  Great.  I get undressed.  I put on the gown halfshirt bolero.  WHAT?!  This can’t be right.  There I am, standing in front of my husband in all my glory and this “gown” they have given me is literally a short little bolero.  It reaches just to my belly button.  NO LONGER.  My butt, legs, everything exposed to the world.  This is the outfit I get?!  What happened to real gowns?  I was laughing hysterically to my husband telling him this was a bolero and not a gown when he says, “It’s like one of those really short Spanish jackets. . . ”   Like a BOLERO?  hahaha Yes, honey.  That’s what I said.  He’s adorable.  I should be relieved he doesn’t know what a bolero is.  I can only imagine the fashion wars that go on in a house where the husband is just as fluent in fashion as the wife.  lol

Ok, so here I am bolero and butt to the world.  This stupid little jacket has five ties – three on the left side and two on the right – so that it takes me a few minutes to figure out what connects where.  I start panicking that the doctor is going to come in and I will be sitting there with my little shrug wide open so I just start tying them as fast as I can.  Whatever ties it shut, that’s what I do.  Just as I finish, in he comes.  His PA follows.

All four of us are now in this tiny room with me and my great outfit.  The doctor says something something then asks me to lie down and he picks up each of my feet manually and places them in the stirrups. That was a little awkward.  Ok, anyway.  I’m lying there and he leans over me and unties my ties and just lets the little jacket fly open and starts my breast exam with my husband and the PA watching.  He’s talking but no one is listening because it’s just so awkward.  He’s pressing really hard and it hurts so bad I have to start holding my breath – my chest is so sore right now!! Why doesn’t he know that?! My grimaces don’t seem to affect him.  He’s not rough by any means, but he was definitely using a lot of pressure.  Apparently all is well because he didn’t say anything when he was done.

Thankfully the dumb bolero ties up much faster the second time.  Next we get to the good part – the ultrasound.  We got to see the baby – and it waved it’s little arm at us!!! TWICE!!!  Oh my gosh…if you look at the picture you can see it’s right arm in the background by it’s face – that arm bobbed up and down a few times and it just melted my heart.  I teared up immediately.  My husband was SO excited – “Look!  It’s waving!  It’s waving at us!”  I think he actually called the baby “he” but I refuse to acknowledge that.  🙂

It was one of the most magical moments of my entire life.  I had this huge stupid grin on my face and I could not stop smiling.  Just WOW, God.  Thank you for loving me so much to show me that.  

So, we are 11 weeks tomorrow.  We have an appointment with a specialist for some of the Downs and other testing in about 10 days but we don’t see my OB again until July 9 (14w4d).  So this means we are good to go!!  Sadly, I was so stunned about the waving fiasco that I could not compose myself enough to remember that I did have some actual questions.  When he asked me, I just kept smiling and my mind went blank as a pageant contestant’s.  “No, I said, I don’t think that I do.”  Lovely.  Truly, though, I have already asked my RE the questions, who referred me to ask the OB.  Last week, I had a consult with the OB nurse and remembered to ask her (I had them written down) and she also  referred me to ask the OB.  Now, OB asks me: I’ve got nothing.  How many times can a lady be expected to remember her questions?  Three I guess.

So, I called today and left a voice mail for the nurse and am hopeful I will get them answered.  Just questions about being able to weight lift and simple stuff.

NOW, back to real life.

When I left the OB’s office yesterday, they gave me a print out “summary” of the day’s visit.  You know what it said on the first page??  That the purpose of my appointment was “HIGH RISK DUE TO ELDERLY MULTIGRAVIDA“.  It was bold.  And CAPS.  Was that really necessary?  First of all, no one told me I was considered high risk.  I actually asked the nurse last week if I was considered high risk because I would be over age 35 when I delivered.  No, she said, you aren’t immediately at risk because you turn 35 and especially because you are already pregnant and you’re only 34.  Huh?  What’s this “only 34” business if 35 is considered elderly?  What an insult.  And, plus, now I don’t think the nurse knows what she’s talking about.  

Ok, so obviously I’ve googled this and it means I have had more than one baby (this is my second) and I will be delivering over age 35, which makes me high risk . . . WHICH IS WHAT I ASKED ABOUT.  Anyway, annoying. I laughed at the time with my husband because they called me elderly and I’m in my early thirties.  I know, I know, it’s because pregnancy-wise I am on the older end of the spectrum.  I know.  Still – rude.

My favorite thing was when I flipped over the page, already kind of annoyed with the shameful bolero I had to wear and then faced with the elderly comment all in bold caps and I see this addition to my chart listed in CAPS next to my current height and weight: FORMER SMOKER.  

Oh just perfect.   I knew I wasn’t going to like you people.

 

 

 

 

[9w2d] I love you little astronaut.

Image

So, I’m pretty crabby that the long post I typed out last week to accompany this picture has not only NOT posted, as I meant for it to, but is not even visible in my drafts. Looks like I will be starting over.  This post will be decidedly less entertaining.

Our final ultrasound with our RE, above, was taken at 8w3d and the baby was measuring at 20mm (2 cm) with a heartbeat at 180!  We were thrilled to see such a great numbers! 🙂  The relief and awe are truly starting to set in.  So hard not to tell the world yet.  Look at it’s giant astronaut head and little arms and legs!  They were moving around when we were watching!  Be still my heart.

So – next steps. . . I have an “orientation” appt with my new OB/GYN’s nurse this Friday (I think it’s just getting my health history, blood work, etc. since I have never seen them before).  Our first appt with my new doctor is next Thursday, June 12 (10w5d) and I am SO excited to get another ultrasound! 🙂  The RE gave us a flash drive with some ultrasound images to take with us when we left our last appointment.  I wish they would do that every time!  I have to quick get one printed and put in the frame before this baby gets any bigger (right now I still have the 3 embryos we transferred framed on my night stand).

I have been trying to stick to my 5 AM gym routine, although I’ve been advised to quit lifting weights for a few months now (so I am walking) and I have morning sickness 90% of the time when I wake up (so I’m going about 2-3x week instead of 5).  All in all, not a total failure – but beginning to feel pretty meh.  I wear my FitBit and aim for 5,000 steps before I go home, which I can usually get done in about 35 minutes.  Last week my sister joked about how fast I was walking and we had a good laugh, but then my calves were sore for days afterwards.  FROM WALKING.  Oh, dear, my fitness level has reached an all time low.

Astronaut Baby is worth it.  Bring on the maxi skirts to cover my hips and thighs. 🙂